I just moved into a new place. I'd like to put a Buddha altar inside and also in the yard, so naturally I went on the internet. Wikihow is a great site that had a page just for me: How to Create a Simple Buddhist Shrine.
Step one: choose a stable place above head level. Okay, my cats are gonna go for that in an instant. Espeically if they think it's special in any way.
Step two: make a shelf to support the objects. And by "objects" I suppose they must mean "cats."
Three: place the objects onto the shrine. Some recommendations follow about what objects should be placed on the shrine, but you and I know it's all up to the cats as to what they choose to knock to the floor and what they're willing to curl around. Steps four and five are similarly technical, expecially if cats are likely to be involved. They concern choosing specific scriptures or images, but don't address the likelihood of hairballs, shedding or dried tapeworm fragments.
Step six: place offerings such as a bowl of water on the lowest level. This practically guarantees the presence of hairballs, shedding and dried tapeworm fragments on the rest of the altar and increases the likelihood of that special Buddha statue purchased off Amazon being knocked over and broken by a whopping 47 percent.
Steps seven through nine talk about what kinds of offerings are appropriate to make at the shrine, but to me it just sounded like the things I do to try to get the cats to like what I feed them. And I'm pretty sure any attempt at placing a stupa on the shrine would lead to puffed tails, hissing, and vigorous escape leaps. Some things are just too damn weird, or maybe just too New Age, to countenance.
Step ten, the incense: I'd like to make offerings to Buddha, but my cats freak out if I make a flame in the house. Maybe I can make the incense offering inside and then when the cats are asleep sneak into the yard and burn it out there.
I guess I worship cats.
Step one: choose a stable place above head level. Okay, my cats are gonna go for that in an instant. Espeically if they think it's special in any way.
Step two: make a shelf to support the objects. And by "objects" I suppose they must mean "cats."
Three: place the objects onto the shrine. Some recommendations follow about what objects should be placed on the shrine, but you and I know it's all up to the cats as to what they choose to knock to the floor and what they're willing to curl around. Steps four and five are similarly technical, expecially if cats are likely to be involved. They concern choosing specific scriptures or images, but don't address the likelihood of hairballs, shedding or dried tapeworm fragments.
Step six: place offerings such as a bowl of water on the lowest level. This practically guarantees the presence of hairballs, shedding and dried tapeworm fragments on the rest of the altar and increases the likelihood of that special Buddha statue purchased off Amazon being knocked over and broken by a whopping 47 percent.
Steps seven through nine talk about what kinds of offerings are appropriate to make at the shrine, but to me it just sounded like the things I do to try to get the cats to like what I feed them. And I'm pretty sure any attempt at placing a stupa on the shrine would lead to puffed tails, hissing, and vigorous escape leaps. Some things are just too damn weird, or maybe just too New Age, to countenance.
Step ten, the incense: I'd like to make offerings to Buddha, but my cats freak out if I make a flame in the house. Maybe I can make the incense offering inside and then when the cats are asleep sneak into the yard and burn it out there.
I guess I worship cats.
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